From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
