she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
