"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
