Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize