you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
