okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize