should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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