I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
