But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
