Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
