If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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