are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
