We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
