I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
