i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
