I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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