I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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