My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
