What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
