The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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