you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
