I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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