paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just googled if crying burns calories
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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