When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
