You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
