just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
