He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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