Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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