He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
