I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
