You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
