Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I will pee on everything he values.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
