yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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