She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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