so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize