Come see our sink grown plant.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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