Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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