He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
