Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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