Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
