dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
