What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
