so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
