It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
