maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
