I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
