Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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