someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize