He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
