somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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