Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
