Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you guys were way drunker than both of me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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