k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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