Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
