am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He better not be in your backpack
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
