If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
