This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
