did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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