please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize